


Can't Rid the Pain

by RedLion003



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Galra Empire, Gen, Happy Ending, Seizures, Shiro POV, Space Caterpillars - Freeform, Whump, broganes, eventual blackashi, keith pov, keith whump to be exact, mentioning of Keith&Red, mentioning of Lance&Blue, platonic kallura - Freeform, set in season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-04-08 11:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLion003/pseuds/RedLion003
Summary: Between all the attacks from Zarkon, the team is slowly starting to fall apart. But what do they do when one of their own starts to fall violently ill.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I worked a while on this but there is a trigger warning! There is a lot of pain and blood and I just want you to be warned so you could choose to not read or brave it and go forth.
> 
> Just... be warned! It's pretty graphic.

The galra have been tracking them more than ever lately. The paladins still don't know how they've been found countless times, but Zarkon refused to give them a break. There was a possibility that it was through Zarkon's connection with the Black Lion, but the Alteans always had something to say about that. Either Coran's wide wisdom of: _"Voltron might be a mystical  specimen that even King Alfor himself couldn't decipher, but a lion and paladin was never able to connect over vast distances!"_ Or Allura's determined snarl of: _"The Black Lion no longer belongs to that monster! They share no connection."_

 

Shiro had to doubt their intellect on this one. There were nights he would toss and turn, his eyes snapping open at the most minor of sounds. There were nights he patrolled the halls, looking out at the windows for any sign of Zarkon's ship. His eyes would feel dry and heavy in the mornings when they all gathered at breakfast, but one look around the room told him that he wasn't the only one chasing sleep.

 

Some of those nights, Shiro would take a slow pace down to the Black Lion's hangar. He'd look up at the head of Voltron with a small sense of wonder. Her every groove in metal and white cracks spanning across her sleek black coat from age. He once placed his metal hand to her large scraped claw, closing his eyes and focusing on that hair-thin bond that connected them.

 

He tried to picture a ghostly lion. Black fur running across her body with gleaming yellow eyes and proud stance. He would look down at her determined stature with calculating eyes, trying to figure out her every move.

 

_'Who is your paladin?'_ He once questioned, standing tall before her. Black's gleaming yellow eyes dimmed. She looked at a spot between his feet with contemplation; soft purring pants emanating from her mouth as if she just ran a mile.

 

_'I am not quite sure...'_ She would whisper in the back of his head, her ear flicking - as if wincing - at her own words.

 

Shiro didn't make anymore nightly strolls to the Black hangar after that.

* * *

Shiro's eyes felt dry and his limbs ached all over. He wanted nothing more but to crash in his room and sleep for a billion years. He couldn't help but envy Allura and Coran for their long cryostatus. His metal arm tugged annoyingly at his skin and his brain couldn't function properly. He was aching all over from exertion but he didn't stop training.

 

He couldn't sleep _(as usual)_ and he felt the need to get better at his skills in combat.

 

His arm lit up as the large, white gladiator dropped to the floor with a clang. The robot pushed himself into a straight-back position; staff readied and blue eyes blinking. He remembered a similar expression on dark grey sentries, their guns raised and aimed. He wasn't defenseless, but he was too scared to light up his arm. He shook his head in frustration. _This was not the time!_

 

He brought himself back to the present, staring his opponent down with a scowl. Neither of them made a move for a long time before the robot squared its shoulders and rushed at him. Shiro watched the gladiator inch closer and closer, the loud clangs of its metal boots on the ground and that blue orb trained solely on him. He saw the gladiator raise their weapon in a wide arc, zooming for his face.

 

Shiro brought up his arm and blocked the move, shoving the metallic bar far from his face. Using his split second of advantage, Shiro swung his arm back up into the gladiator's chin. The metal clanged against one another, but Shiro didn't expect a punch to win the battle.

 

The gladiator stumbled back but caught itself at its heels. They brought back their staff and swung it in another wide arc. Shiro blocked the blow and another as it came sailing another way.

 

Clashes of metal echoed throughout the large training room as Shiro continued his blocks and blows. He used strategy against the gladiator, watching their movements closely and tapping along to the sound of their running footsteps. He watched the robot closely, timing its patterns and recognizing their movements. This level of gladiator was dependent on their staff, knocking and blowing as many times they could.

 

This level of gladiator was like Keith.

 

Shiro smirked at the thought of it. He always won against Keith in combat. Despite the boy's wide amounts of praise, he noticed the bruise in his pride every time he was knocked sorely on his ass.

 

_'Congrats, Shiro!'_ the raven-haired teen would say with a cracking grin, punching him in the shoulder. What he really meant was _'don't rub it in'_.

 

Shiro rubbed it in for the sake of Keith's annoyance.

 

Shiro put a wide arc of distance between himself and the robot. As soon as seven feet laid before him and the gladiator, he rooted himself to the spot. He waited and waited until the gladiator squared its shoulders and charged. Shiro's arm relit itself as he crouched into a battle position. He watched the gladiator swing its staff in a wide arc, whipping through the air toward Shiro's face.

 

He caught the staff before it connected with his nose and threw the force away from himself. Instead of punching the gladiator in the chin like before, he plunged his arm through the gladiator's abdomen.

 

He held the gladiator's gaze for a few moments before a blue gradient of pixels dissolved the robot from the spot. He stood straight, deactivating his arm. He looked down at the floor where the gladiator once stood as if he could still see the cyborg in front of him.

 

_"Congratulations, Shiro; but everyone would like to Form Voltron with a fully functional leader when the time comes,"_ Keith announced from the comms overhead. What he actually meant was, _'I can't keep up anymore, Shiro! Give me more advantage here!'_.

 

Shiro couldn't help the soft smile that pulled on his face, "End Training Sequence."

* * *

He got a bit more rest than usual. He still subconsciously slouched and his mind wasn't as fast as usual, but at least he had enough strength for the battles.

 

There were three attacks in a row and Shiro's arms were starting to ache from constantly using the zip line. His hands felt bruised from their constant grip on the pedals and he was starting to run out of battle strategy. Black's soft purr of contemplation whispered in the back of his head again; her solemn, tired look as she scrutinized the place between his feet.

 

_'I'm not quite sure...'_ her voice whispered back to him.

 

His eyes searched through the flurry of battlecruisers until his eyes locked on the large metal cruiser guiding all the others. It didn't take him long to find it, seeing it was the largest of all of them. He locked eyes with the large diamond-shaped ion cannon in the center of the ship. The dark purple surface glinting with the million stars around it.

 

He felt hypnotized, staring at the mothership as if he was staring Zarkon right in the face.

 

_Was Zarkon looking back?_ A thought occurred to him. Shiro scowled at the ship, remembering the large arena and prison cells. The tortured, bleeding face of one of his cellmates as he raised his glowing arm - staring at him with fear.

 

He couldn't control himself. He couldn't hold back. He swung his hand in a wide arc, cutting through the howling alien's body with ease. He froze, watching the alien shiver and gape at him, blood streaking across his frame. Shiro stepped back, watching as the young child bled out in front of him. His arm has deactivated a long time ago, but he still felt the hot sting of its power against his skin.

 

_'Who is your paladin?' He once questioned, standing tall before her. Almost as if expressing dominance._

 

_'I am not quite sure...' She would whisper in the back of his head, her ear flicking - as if wincing - at her own words._

* * *

It was an infiltration mission. Voltron has done those before. It went smoothly until they were spotted. Pidge told them to cover her as she scanned the rest of the data but they weren't doing much for back up.

 

There was a difference from this mission, and all the missions they had before. They were well-rested and prepared for anything back then. But now, with the constant attacks blowing over the Castle - they barely had any sleep. They relied on Coran's paladin lunch to give them energy because Hunk could barely pick up a spatula.

 

Granted, the paladin lunch tasted a whole lot like ear wax.

 

They had a constant bad-taste in their mouth, paranoia for decophoebs and almost collapsed on the spot from exhaustion. Lance's sharpshooting was going to shame as he hit the same pipe for the last five minutes, Shiro could barely focus on his target and Hunk was shooting blindly at anything and everything.

 

Keith didn't seem to good himself, but he's taken down the hall after some sentries a long time ago.

 

It made Shiro fidgety that Keith wouldn't reply through the comms and that he hasn't returned yet. He tried to shake the worry from his mind and kept fighting. His priority was protecting Pidge, so that's what he'll have to do.

 

It didn't stop his eyes from flicking to the door every few dobashes and he'd notice the smallest glint of red in his peripherals. After some time of fighting and still no sign of Keith, Shiro opened up the comms again. "Keith! Do you copy?"

 

No reply.

 

_Keith was probably too tired to remember how to reply to the comms. He was probably held up or backed into a corner._ Shiro growled at his own suggestions. They weren't anything to soothe his worry. He cut through a few more sentries before he fought his way back to Pidge.

 

"Pidge, track Keith's location!" He called out to her. She nodded affirmatively and then blinked a couple of times to rid the tired spots from her eyes. She turned back to her gauntlet and tapped for a couple of dobashes before a location popped up in front of his vision.

 

He saw a blinking red spot in a long corridor, about thirty purple circles around him and one obsidian triangle to his far right.

 

Shiro fought his way to the end of the room, using his shield as protection and constantly lashing out with his fist. He bashed his shield in the enemy's face as well, seeing that came as a helpful technique. He broke through the door and was faced with more sentries than there was in the room he just left.

 

He growled in frustration, keeping his eyes on his targets and the blinking red dot on his visor. Panic filled Shiro as the red mark on the visor grew significantly smaller as it was overpowered by the mob of purple.

 

Shiro cut through the last that stood in his way and followed his own mark as he ran down the halls. More sentries blocked his path and more sentries stood at the mercy of his prosthetic. Through it all, the red mark was growing significantly smaller and smaller. He didn't even notice the obsidian triangle dissolve off his map. _He was almost there! Just a few more steps forward._

 

Shiro darted around the hall and watched his black point face the pool of purple. He closed the visor map and looked before him. A large array of sentries shooting at the same place.

 

He growled in frustration. This mission was going significantly worse by the tick. He activated his arm once more, feeling the warm metal heat his skin. He rushed forward, cutting through their metal with clangs and booms. More of the sentries turned their attention on Shiro. After twenty-four down and six to go, he finally arrived at where the map was leading him.

 

Keith was pressed against the metal wall, his shield the only thing covering his shaking form. There was something off about Keith that Shiro couldn't pinpoint. His curled up and vulnerable posture? The tears streaking down his cheeks?

 

Shiro didn't have much time to ponder on it.

 

He turned to the remaining sentries. Three of them shot at Keith, three faced him with their blasters raised. He remembered a similar situation. On his knees before three sentries, shaking with exertion. His only thought: _'If only I was faster'_.

 

Seeing Keith curled up against the wall, the shield shimmering and preparing to fail him; Shiro remembered his own fear of being cornered. He remembered the child he killed out of his own growing madness. The last thing he wanted for his team was to be so vulnerable and defeated.

 

He heaved a sigh and brought his arm to its max power.

 

The heat burned his skin and disintegrated his undersuit's sleeve. Instead of the vibrant purple he was used to, it glowed an eye-burning white. He cracked the prosthetic into a fist and ran at the waiting sentries. As he approached they started shooting at him. He dodged and blocked their attacks, the nights spent with the gladiator coming back to him.

 

He recognized their patterns. When the laser guns needed their few ticks of recharge; their synchronized teamwork. He took advantage the next time the lasers stopped firing.

 

Bringing down his shield for more speed, he crashed his fist in the first one's chest, looping it around to the second. As soon as the two of them clattered to the floor, he turned to the last one. His shield was up in time and he slowly approached them, waiting for the recharge sequence. He counted down by _one... two... three... four -_

 

The lasers stopped firing. He brought down his shield and plunged his fist into the sentry's chest.

 

Three were left. Their weakness was hard to miss. They were too focused on shooting Keith to notice their new attacker. He hacked through the last three easily and stopped in his tracks for a moment to steady his breathing. He turned to Keith, who was still hiding beneath his flickering and failing shield.

 

He ran toward him and kneeled next to the boy.

 

Shiro slowly reached a hand out to steady him, but Keith was still stuck in the battle. He still thought he was trapped by the laser beams of the enemy. Keith jerked away with a frightened moan, pressing harder against the metal wall behind him.

 

Shiro held his hands up and away from Keith, "Keith, calm down. It's just me. It's okay, it's just me..." he whispered in his most reassuring voice. The one that always calmed Keith down after a bad day.

 

As if recognizing the tone, Keith cracked his eye open to peer at him. He looked skeptical for a moment before the shield dissolved and his arm dropped to the floor. His breathing was ragged, and now that the shield wasn't blocking his full view of Keith... Now that he really got time to see him... he noticed what was truly off about Keith. Tears streamed down his face and he was shaking like a leaf in a storm. Keith's skin was so pale, it seemed almost grey. His hair seemed lighter and blood slowly poured out the side of his mouth. He looked like a shadow.

 

" _Sh-Sh-Shi-o_?" His voice broke on the 'i' and the rest of the word sounded more like an exhale. Shiro paled as he watched Keith's entire body limp with exertion.

 

Shiro reached out again and recoiled when Keith flinched away from him. His hand hovered uselessly for a moment before he reached closer. Slowly, he ran the palm of his hand over Keith's cheek. His skin was cold like he was touching an ice tray. Keith's eyes blinked wider and Shiro's hand recoiled again.

 

His irises shrunk down so small it was barely noticeable against his wide sclerae. There was no noticeable shine. He looked... _dead_.

 

As his gaze locked with Keith's he remembered a hidden enemy. An obsidian triangle. His hand activated causing Keith to yelp in surprise and bring back the shield. He spun toward Keith's far right and squinted into the darkness. There was nothing there.

 

He brought back the map from earlier and scanned the hallway they were in and the one next to it. There was no sign of it.

 

Shiro turned back to face Keith. The blue barrier protecting his body giving him more color to his face. He kneeled back down and reached out a comforting hand. "It's okay, Keith... It's just me; I didn't mean to startle you..."

 

Keith opened his eyes again. Shiro repressed the urge to pull back when Keith's wide eyes connected with his. The shield dissolved after a while, his breathing was shaky and ragged and he limped in exhaustion again. Shiro placed his hand on Keith's forearm, rubbing soothing strokes on the boy's arm. He felt like his hand was touching a breaking engine.

 

"Keith, take deep breaths, okay?" Shiro whispered to him. "In and out. Just like in the Garrison, remember?" After a long, quiet moment, Keith shook his head. _Wait... he didn't remember?_ His mind worried.

 

_He's tired and scared!_ The other part of his mind argued. _Of course, he won't remember!_

 

Shiro moved his hand down to Keith's waist, rubbing soothing circles against the undersuit. "Just do it with me okay..." Shiro begged every god not to let another sentry run around the corner. Keith shakily nodded his head, still looking unsure. "Take a deep breath in..." Shiro mimicked his instructions, taking a deep breath through his nose. Keith took a while before he followed Shiro's instructions. His throat seemed to tighten half-way through as he started to hyperventilate.

 

"Keith, calm down..." Shiro whispered, but Keith's breathing got quicker and quicker instead. Shiro tugged at Keith's helmet, pulling it off of his head. His greying skin was sheened with sweat and more blood dripped from his mouth.

 

Shiro wiped the side of his mouth but more blood came. He activated the comms to the rest of the team, "Team! We need an instant departure now. Everyone meet up at the Blue Lion."

 

He scooped Keith's limp body into his arms - the younger boy wincing and gasping for breath. Shiro knocked Keith's helmet to the side of his thigh, and the object dissolved and disappeared. A handy trick Coran remembered while they were in training.

 

He ran down the halls, avoiding sentries and trying to calm Keith's constant whimpers. Finally, they got to the exit and Shiro leaned Keith's against the wall. He slowly slipped the helmet over his head and activated the visor. Keith started gasping again like the thin glass blocked all oxygen from his lungs. "Come on, Keith," Shiro whispered, laying his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Just hold on for a little longer and you'll be okay."

 

Shiro clutched Keith back to his chest and hopped out the airlock. Carrying a wounded soldier in one arm and trying to keep a steady pace in deep space wasn't too easy. After a few heart-stopping moments, Keith's cries of pain and an outer-space battle with a machine gun; Shiro saw the Blue Lion activate not too far away.

 

"Lance! To your right," Shiro called over the comms.

 

The Blue Lion turned her head and faced them. She pounded forward and opened her jaw. Shiro jumped in between her jaws and fell to the floor with a _thump_ as her mouth clamped shut. Keith screeched in pain as he came in contact with the floor.

 

Shiro was by his side in an instant, ripping off the helmet and throwing it aside. He ran a hand through Keith's greying locks, clutching him to his own chest. " _It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay..._ " He whispered like a mantra, trying to ease his own mind as much as Keith's.

* * *

Pidge, Hunk, and Lance didn't even get time to see Keith. As soon as they landed in the Castle, Shiro darted out the jaw of the lion and ran toward the med-bay. He grabbed Coran by the collar and pulled him along down the corridors.

 

One look at the red paladin in Shiro's arms and Coran stumbled right after them.

 

They locked the doors for privacy and striped Keith out of his armor. Shiro refused that Coran put on the cryo-suit and offered to do it instead. While Coran readied the pod, Shiro helped Keith into the stark white suit. Blood coated every inch of Keith's skin, his trembling still didn't stop. After a few confused knocks from Allura and the other paladins, they got Keith safely into a pod.

 

Suffice to say, it confused the living quiznack out of the princess when Shiro shoved a bloody suit of armor in her hands and told her to wash it. he turned to the other paladins and promised to tell them the details in due time, but for the time being, they were to get some rest and study the gathered intel.

 

After some hesitation, the team left for their respective jobs.

 

Shiro nervously paced behind Coran as he checked Keith's vitals, doing a few full-body scans.

 

"He'll be alright," Coran said, spinning by his heel.

 

Shiro needed to physically restrain himself from sinking to the floor in relief. He straightened his back, standing tall. Keeping the perfect facade of a soldier. "How long will he be in cryostatus?"

 

Coran turned back around, tapping a few symbols here and there until he turned around with an affirmative nod. "Two quintants at the minimum."

 

Shiro's eyes flitted over to Keith. "And maximum?"

 

Coran twirled his mustache in thought, "About... two movements?"

 

Shiro nodded solemnly, "Thanks, Coran."

* * *

For the next two quintants, they had to battle the galra without a red paladin. Without the red lion.

 

Voltron couldn't be formed and Zarkon had an unfair advantage.

 

Shiro and Coran told the other paladins about what happened. Shiro took over most of the story, explaining how he found Keith in the corner of the hall. Coran explained his cryostatus with some rather worrying words that he assured Shiro he shouldn't worry about.

 

_'Really? It's normal for an Altean's heart to beat 125 beats per minute...'_ Coran said in utter bewilderment.

 

Pidge discussed the intel she deciphered; nothing that explained the various attacks but she did get a few cruiser routes. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge seemed a little bit more rested but there were still tell-tale circles under their eyes. Allura left the metal of Keith's armor for Coran to polish while his undersuit got cleaned out. Lance complained that he wanted his armor cleaned up too.

 

By the second quintant, the team rushed to the med-bay and waited for a few vargas before Coran concluded that he'll be there longer.

 

After every battle, Shiro would wait for Keith to wake up. He noticed the pale of his skin was returning and his hair turned darker. Late one night, Shiro walked to the med-bay; looking at Keith's healing form to ease away the nightmare he just had.

 

He felt a warm feeling brush against his leg, a distant purr trying to connect with him. _'I have faith in my paladin,'_ the voice whispered in the back of his head. _'He'll pull through.'_

 

_'I'm not quite sure...' her voice whispered back to him._

* * *

Two movements later, Shiro paced in front of Keith's pod. He was supposed to come out any moment now. His prosthetic tapped nervously against his elbow, watching Keith fast asleep in the cryo-pod.

 

He waited for two more vargas before he heard the familiar hiss of air. Shiro watched the blue smoke dissolve the glass of the pod. Keith fell forward through the mist, collapsing in Shiro's waiting arms. He was still trembling but his skin felt warmer. The pale color he recognized on Keith.

 

Keith let out a few worrying coughs before he straightened himself.

 

"Shiro?" He asked in a weak voice, blinking blearily at the man in front of him.

 

Shiro offered him a warm smile, keeping a hand on his waist to steady him. "Welcome back, Keith."

* * *

Allura gave Keith a warm smile with a cheery _'welcome back'_. Shiro noticed her hands twitch with the temptation to hug him. He was thoroughly surprised when Keith dived forward and hugged her first. Allura froze for a moment before she returned the embrace. Keith didn't let go for a long time.

 

Coran made sure to go through a full-body scan as soon as they crossed paths with him. He constantly asked Shiro questions about Keith's health and making notes in a scratched up leather book. _'Make sure I keep all this in mind!'_ he simply said.

 

Pidge was with the space caterpillars and space mice at the moment, so as soon as she saw him; the whole group rushed toward him. Keith winced slightly when Pidge collided into him, the mice nuzzling into his hair and the space caterpillars awkwardly floating nearby.

 

Hunk forced Keith toward the kitchen, hastily making whatever Keith wanted. As soon as Keith got a few bites of something, Hunk gave into temptation and hugged him. _'You really worried us, man!'_ he cried into Keith's hair. Keith hesitantly hugged him back with a quiet, _'I'm sorry'_.

 

Lance tried to make fun of Keith's hair again, as one would think. _'Guess your samurai skills aren't useful on your own, huh?'_ he said with a proud grin. The last thing he expected was when Keith hugged him. He stood as still as stone for a while before he shakily hugged back. _'N-nice to - er - see you again, I guess...'_ he stammered out.

* * *

"Commencing Gladiator; Level 13," Allura called over the comms. The ceiling opened up and a gladiator fell to the ground with a resounding clang. The paladins raised their weapons. The gladiator stood straight-backed and looked them all over. "Your lesson today involves teamwork and strategy. You must work together to get passed the gladiator. On the other side of the room-" a panel rose from the across the room. A line cut between them and the gladiator - "there is important intel. Get the intel to your side of the room, and the mission is successful.

 

"You have thirty ticks to prepare yourselves," Allura chose a bad level to train them on. Shiro has defeated this level countless times before.

 

"Alright, team! Let's talk strategy," He turned toward the four paladins. "This gladiator has a double eye. He can tell what is happening from both sides. So what we have to do, is outsmart him. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge will take his left side; while Keith and I take his right." The four of them nodded affirmatively. "Pidge, you are gonna have to slink away from the team slowly but surely. Grab the intel and rejoin the battle."

 

"Gotcha," Pidge said with a smirk.

 

"If the gladiator figures you out, we'll cover you," Shiro said. "But let's just hope this works out."

 

They turned back to the waiting gladiator. They walked to the line crossing between them and stood ready. Hunk, Lance, and Pidge to the left of the gladiator while Shiro stood to the right with Keith.

 

"Initiate mission!" Coran called over the comms like a cheerleader.

 

The five of them darted forward, splitting into their respective sides. Keith and Shiro tried to cause more of a distraction on the right to give Pidge her time to sneak past.

 

Keith used his reckless moves against the gladiator the best he could while Shiro strategized his courses of action. Memorizing the cyborg's patterns to the best of his memory. Pidge finally swiped the intel and slinked back to the group.

 

This was going faster than Shiro expected. But then everything went wrong. _Really_ wrong.

 

A loud scream broke through the training deck and Shiro saw a blur of red in the corner of his eye. He froze in his steps and turned toward the source of the screams. Keith was hunched over, his whole body trembling. Tears streamed down his face and blood was dripping from his mouth.

 

His skin paled into a grey color again. The light in the training deck seemed to make his hair lighter.

 

Shiro spun toward the box overhead and cried out, " _End training sequence!_ "

 

Before the words truly left his mouth, the gladiator collapsed to the ground; motionless. He ran toward Keith and collapsed next to him. He laid a hand on his shoulder, suppressing his own trembling. Keith's grey skin and lighting hair made him remember the cruiser. His back pressed against the wall, a failing shield brought over his own body for protection.

 

The rest of the team rushed around him. A flurry of _'what's going on'_ s and _'what's wrong with him'_ s. They were wide-eyed and pale, watching Keith like he grew a tail.

 

Keith was hugging his arms close to his chest, a pained moan escaping his mouth instead of a scream.

 

Shiro jumped to his feet and picked Keith up into his arms. He ran toward the med-bay before anyone could blink. As soon as they got to the med-bay, Coran was already there with a pod ready. Shiro tore Keith's armor off and left him in his undersuit.

 

It took them awhile to steady him in the pod but it finally closed over him.

 

Shiro watched the boy with ragged breaths. He looked exactly like that day in the cruiser. Black and white.

 

A shadow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Keith's illness gets terribly worse, the paladins must learn how to rebound with Voltron and find the answer to Keith's attacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't gonna be a good chapter but I really like it! From the pieces I processed writing. I tried my best with the found-family trope and explaining all of this nonsense while lazy, so I hope it's cool!
> 
> Phoebs - Months  
> Movement - Week  
> Dobashes - Minutes  
> Ticks - Seconds

The unconscious shadow of Keith drifted behind the blue haze. His eyes were closed - hiding the wide sclerae beneath his eyelids. Shiro watched each steady exhale and every minor twitch of his fingers.

 

It's been about two phoebs since the training deck incident and this was one of many times they had to lock Keith in a cryo-pod. Ever since that attack on the galra cruiser, Keith couldn't stop bleeding and screaming in agony at unexpectant times. Shiro asked Keith about the events in the cruiser once; about what exactly happened there.

 

Keith stayed quiet for a long time, his eyes calculating. After a few dobashes, Keith shrugged. 'I can't remember exactly what happened. The sentries were crowding around me, more and more kept coming - and then I was in a cryo-pod.'

 

'You can't remember the seizures?' Shiro asked. Keith didn't reply to that one. A faraway look gathered in his eyes and the next thing Shiro knew - they carried a bleeding and whimpering red paladin to the cryo-pods.

 

Coran theorized that the seizures were caused by trauma - as seizures tend to be. The memories of the attack triggered more pain. But Coran's theory was proved wrong when everyone was laughing in the lounge at one of Lance's ridiculous jokes, and Keith started to bleed again. 'Lance's joke was just that bad,' Pidge shrugged as they crowded around the cryo-pod. In his panicked and worried haze, Lance started to self-deprecate himself for his terrible humor. It took them a few dobashes to convince him otherwise.

 

The Voltron attacks got even harder than before.

 

Keith's constant disappearance from the team caused a gap between Red and Voltron's connection. Keith wasn't training as much with her anymore and it was starting to severe the connection they shared.

 

Stress build upon the team's shoulders, the fate of the universe relying on their broken bond. Keith would start to feel worthless and become distant from them, causing the seizures to come by unnoticed until they found him gasping and bleeding in one of the corridors.

 

Late at night, Shiro would find Keith fighting a gladiator in exhaustion. His sword clashing sloppily against the metal staff of the level twenty cyborg. Shiro knew for a fact that Keith was far from this level.

 

_ 'This is useless!'  _ Keith cried out one night, spinning on his heel to glare at Shiro.  _ 'I can't even eat without ending up in a cryo-pod. My connection with Red is shattered and I can't even contribute to the team cause I don't even recognize my own room sometimes! All because I've been having seizures I'm not aware of!' _ As if to prove a point, he started to bleed and scream; crumbling to his knees in misery.

 

No matter what they tested or studied, they couldn't find the root to all of these problems and why Keith can't even remember them. Every theory they seemed to be getting was proved wrong before they could voice it.

 

All Shiro could think of was the obsidian triangle blinking in the corner of his view. It's perch atop one of the pedestals, watching Keith's every move from the shadows. Shiro asked Pidge about the symbol and what it meant on the maps, but she nor Coran knew anything about it.

 

When Shiro asked Allura, she studied the screen for a while before she shook her head,  _ 'I don't know. My father only used that symbol once but I doubt it would be needed again.' _

 

_ 'But, what is it?'  _ Shiro questioned, accepting the screen and tucking it into his pocket.

 

_ 'It was used on many trackers,' _ she explained.  _ 'To find missing Alteans.' _

 

Shiro couldn't stop thinking about what she said. It was a symbol used on trackers to find missing Alteans. But there wasn't any way that could be an... altean.

 

Mist pooled through the air, eating at the glass that separated Keith from him. Shiro stepped forward with his arms out, ready to catch him if he fell. As soon as Keith regained his bearings, he looked around the room for a moment before realization crossed his features. Disappointment clouded his eyes before he pushed away from Shiro and stumbled out the med-bay.

* * *

When Keith got back into battle again, he couldn't focus. His aim was off, he kept crashing and he struggled to obey orders. Keith has never been one to be docile and it would seem normal at first glance, but Keith's flying skills were - in all honesty... horrible.

 

It seemed as if Keith never flew a ship in his life. It seemed as if he never even made it into flying school.

 

He crashed into anything in his way cause he couldn't maneuver fast enough, despite Red being the fastest on the team. He could never shoot a gun but he was at least decent with his lion. Keith has shot Green in the spine nine times now.

 

"Focus, Keith!" Lance cried in frustration, dodging Keith's horrible aim before he could get blasted in the face.

 

"I..." Keith faltered, his voice was slightly shaky from stress. "I can't."

* * *

When Keith asked Shiro of any potential paladins they knew, Shiro couldn't speak. Granted, it was difficult to get Shiro speechless but after Keith's question, he found that his vocal cords no longer obeyed him.

 

A flurry of emotions and responses whirled through his head faster than the speed of light. His head throbbed with the loud argument going on in his brain and he begged everything to just calm down!

 

A part of him wanted to relax and not panic about the question. He wanted to tell Keith that he was the only potential Red Paladin and that he didn't need to doubt himself. That he was an amazing asset to the team just like the rest.

 

Another part saw sense in Keith's question. His recent performance was atrocious and he could barely get near the lion without breaking into a seizure. He was distant from the team and the no one could find him most days.

 

The other part was panicking, drowning most of his thoughts and trying to meld them together to get a decent reply. Trying to step into the shoes of empathy and see it from Keith's standpoint. But everything came back to it's panicking haze.

 

"You know I'm right, Shiro," Keith hung his head, looking anywhere but at Shiro. "I don't contribute to the team anymore." Shiro couldn't even think of a response to that before Keith disappeared around the corner.

* * *

The next time Keith got a seizure, they were about to form Voltron.

 

They were loosing against Zarkon and had to give it their absolute best. They left it all to adrenaline - the heat of battle bringing their bond to a bridging point. Shiro could see Green take form, folding in on herself to form the arm.

 

But they were all pulled apart as a scream echoed through their cabins. The force of energy emanating from Voltron blowing them miles apart. Red stopped responding, her eyes glowing dark and Shiro was caught in the beam of Zarkon's ship.

 

'Get Shiro out of there and return to the castle!' Allura called over the comms. A heavy force burst into the Black Lion's back, pushing him out of Zarkon's connection.

 

Shiro regained the bond he had with Black and pulled her to the castle again. Hunk brought Red to her hangar before they wormhole out of the battlefield. A few wormhole jumps later, Shiro hopped out the jaws of the Black Lion and sped toward the Red hangar. As soon as he got there, the red lion leaned down and opened her maw.

 

Shiro ran up the gangway and stopped in his tracks as he saw Keith limping down the tunnel of Red's throat. Blood soaked any visible piece of his skin, his eyes blown wide and white. He shakily looked up at Shiro with the permanent look of horror on his face. There seemed to be no detail in Keith's face. He was out of place.

 

A shadow.

 

"I 'anna 'o home," he croaked out, tears welling up in his indigo eyes. Shiro had the chilling feeling that it wasn't Keith talking to him.

* * *

Shiro walked down to the black hangar that night.

 

The door opened up as it recognized his hand and slammed closed behind him. Shiro stared up at the Black Lion. The sleek, black metal and the dimness of her yellow eyes. Zarkon has been getting stronger and he needed to put an end to this.

 

His hand pressed against her scraped claw as he got close enough and he closed his eyes. Her radiant black fur glistened with stars and her yellow eyes glowed a little brighter when seeing him. But they still held a subtle glow - she was still unsure.

 

"You and I have some work to do," Shiro said, stepping toward her. She backed away a few steps and stared off into the horizon.

 

"We aren't alone," She spoke calmly. Shiro blinked at her in surprise. He looked up to the inky black horizon. Someone stood far away from them. They weren't looking at them, they were observing the peculiar stars above them.

 

Shiro's gaze lingered for a moment before they fell back on the Black Lion, "Who is that?"

 

She turned around, her ear flicking and watching him carefully. "Can you control him?"

 

Shiro stared at her for a while before he looked back up. The figure didn't turn around, they didn't acknowledge them at all. Shiro stepped forward and he noticed Black do the same. Carefully, he walked toward the figure standing in the distance.

 

As he got closer, he noticed red armor and dark hair blowing through the breeze.

 

Keith didn't acknowledge them when they stood right next to him. His eyes were glazed over as if he was in a trance. He looked at the sky with a monotone expression.

 

"Keith...?"

 

Keith didn't reply. His eyes were fixed on the sky. Shiro followed his gaze and saw another figure drift in the sky. Her red pelt turning grey and her yellow eyes dull. The red lion didn't look back at Keith, just slowly drifted off. He turned back to Keith, his expressionless face trying to reel her in. To reconnect.

 

All the thoughts from before argued again.

 

_ He is important to the team! _

 

_ He hasn't been doing anything useful! _

 

_ What is he thinking!? _

 

_ Can you control him? _

 

Truth was, he couldn't control Keith. He never could. Ever since he met him, he has been his own person. He has his own problems and he always thought he could solve them alone. Pidge called him the loner and the title fit well. Keith was always focused on his goals and didn't stop trying until he got what he wanted. He would never quit. Not until he got the answers.

 

His gaze on Red was the only thing keeping them bonded. He was focusing on Red, trying to bring her back to him. Red was like Keith. She couldn't be controlled. In her own way, she was her own lion.

 

"Look away, Keith," Shiro told him, his hand touching his shoulder. He didn't even tilt his head in acknowledgment.

 

"She'll go away," he muttered after a while.

 

Shiro looked back at the Black Lion. All her focus on him. Waiting. He turned away from her, wondering what she wanted him to do. Get Keith to look away? Would Red leave if he looked away? He couldn't rip him away from the team. "You have to trust her, Keith. She won't leave."

 

Keith tensed, keeping his gaze on Red. "She's gonna leave. Like everyone else!"

 

"No, she won't," Shiro assured calmly. "Red isn't everybody, is she? Look away. You have to trust her."  _ 'I have faith in my paladin,' _ Red's voice echoed in the back of his head. He remembered her confidence as they stared at Keith's unconscious body, waiting for him to wake up. Red wouldn't leave Keith. "You have to trust her, Keith."

 

Shiro waited for any hint of movement. Any emotion to cross his face. Keith gripped his arm and stumbled to the ground, his eyes shut tight. " _ Please, don't leave. _ " Shiro couldn't tell who he was talking to. Him or Red. He was answered a second later as Red drifted down to the ground in front of him. His trembling form tensed as she drew closer.

 

A shadow passed over them and Black kept moving. He glanced down at her as she walked past the inky landscape. He looked back as Keith's reached out his hand and touched the side of Red's face, the lion leaning into him. Her radiant, red glow blowing over her fur once again.

 

He followed Black until they saw another figure in the distance. They were slumped over something, their grey lion nuzzling their side for attention. As they got closer, Shiro noticed the dull blue of the lion's fur and the Bayard in Lance's hands. Shiro let out a long breath and leaned down in front of him.

 

Lance glanced up at Shiro, a solemn look on his face. He glanced down at the Bayard in his hands and back up at him, "Am... Am I really worth it? I... I always make it hard. Does it... Do I mean anything to Voltron?"

 

Shiro looked back at the Black Lion, "What does it matter?" He noticed a faint red glow behind her in the horizon. He looked at the fiery beacon before he looked back at Lance.

 

"You aren't just the team's Sharpshooter, Lance," Shiro smiled at the boy. Lance blinked and looked at the Bayard.

 

"This..." He faltered. The Bayard glowed and turned into a gun, falling into his hand. "This is all I know how to do."

 

Shiro reached for the Bayard and waited for Lance's affirmation. Lance stared at the Bayard and at Shiro's hand in contemplation. He lifted the Bayard to Shiro's grip. He took the weapon from Lance's hand, switching to what it looked like before.

 

Shiro gestured toward Blue, "That's not all you know how to do, Lance. You bring this team together, you fight for the sake of the universe. The sake of your family. And she is always right beside you."

 

Lance turned toward Blue, her eyes glowing brighter. A shadow haloed the two of them and Black continued her path. Shiro followed closely behind. After a while more, they got to another figure in the distance. A greying yellow lion stood far away from him as Hunk worked on a small figurine. He sighed in frustration as another part got loose but kept trying to wire it together.

 

"Will he succeed like this?" Black questioned, watching the Yellow Paladin whimper in fear at a large spark of light.

 

Shiro walked toward Hunk. "Hey, Hunk. Whatcha up to?"

 

“I…” Hunk said. "...I’ll talk in a moment."

 

Shiro stared at him in confusion and glanced at Yellow. He looked back at his paladin before he turned away again. "Hunk, what about Yellow?"

 

Hunk glanced back but turned away a second later. "Allura said that I lift the team up. I can’t stray away from keeping this together." He heightened the object in his hands. All five sides of the object representing the colors of the lions. "If I stop for even a moment-" another loose wire sprung free. Hunk gasped and quickly started to piece it back together. Shiro looked back at Yellow. He was further away now.

 

"Hunk, you have to work on your bond with your lion. You shouldn’t be worried about all of this." He gestured toward the object in Hunk’s hands. "This is something I need to do."

 

Hunk stared up at him in surprise, "Y-you? Shiro... " He looked down at the cube in his hand with hesitance. "Shiro, you don’t even know how to do this. It’s… complicated."

 

Shiro grinned and took the object from Hunk’s hands, "Good thing I’m a quick learner." Hunk timidly stared between the object and Shiro. "Hunk, I’ve done far more to this than you think. Go. He needs you."

 

Hunk hesitated for a moment longer before he nodded. He turned around and ran toward the greying lion in the distance. Shiro watched as he stopped next to the lion, Yellow looking up at him in contemplation before he glowed his brilliant yellow and walked toward Hunk.

 

Black walked another direction and Shiro followed. As they got farther and farther away, the object melded in Shiro’s hand. He looked at his prosthetic with a soft smile and stared back. There were three different beacons now. Red, Blue and Yellow. He smiled in success and looked forward again. There were only two left and the next figure was already there. A greying green lion was curled up and away from the smaller paladin. Pidge looked confused, like Green was a puzzle piece she couldn’t quite place.

 

"Does she really know?" Black asked.

 

Shiro walked toward Pidge and stood next to her. There was silence between them for a while before Pidge spoke up. "I… I know so much about technology and space and… I was the smartest kid in school. But I can’t - I can’t find out what’s wrong with Keith, I don’t understand Voltron and the galra." She looked down at the dark floor of the astral plane. "I don’t know where to find my family. Sometimes things just..." she looked back up at the resting lion in front of her. "Doesn’t have an answer."

 

Shiro nodded in understanding, "It feels that way sometimes." He looked back at the lion, her head lifted from the ground and stared at the paladins with a quizzical expression. "Sometimes it seems like nothing truly makes sense unless you have an answer. A lot of people will kill for the answer. But things happen for a reason. Some things..." He looked back at the red beacon of light. A memory sparked in the depths of his mind; wide, white eyes and blood. " _ Don’t _ have an answer." He looked down at the green paladin. She returned his gaze. "All of you have your purpose on this team. But it doesn’t mean you should stress over this one link, cause there’s more to it from different perspectives." He looked at the green lion as she got to her paws and walked toward Pidge. "All you have to do is find a new perspective."

 

Pidge reached out her hand and ran her palm against the fur. Green glowed brighter and the two of them were circled in darkness.

 

Black lead Shiro further into the abyss. They reached where they first started and she turned to him, her coat a lighter black. "What is your purpose as a leader?"

 

Shiro stared off into the distance, beacons of red, green, yellow, and blue shone through the darkness. "I need to lift the team up. I need to get them to the end of this war. And we need to do this together." Her pelt turned darker and her eyes shone brighter. A purple light erupted around them and shot to the sky; as if answering the other beacons.

* * *

Gunshots tore through the cruiser halls, lasers being deflected by Shiro’s shield. He brought his hand through the sentry’s metal, taking down one by one. Keith was nearby, cutting through as many as he could. His seizure attacks were still constant but he assured that he’ll do fine through the mission. Pidge pumped her hand into the air.

 

"I got the intel! Let’s get out of here," Pidge pressed her hand to the side of her helmet and called out to Hunk. After a while she raised a map to her visor and turned to the others. "Let’s go! Follow me."

 

The four of them tore through the soldiers, keeping their shields up and breaking through them with their weapons. It was going smoothly before Keith’s screamed in pain and crumbled to the floor. Shiro turned back and scooped him into his arms with practiced ease. He joined the team, Lance slowing down to cover them. The airlock opened and the mouth of the yellow lion opened their mouth to the airlock. The four of them rushed in and the yellow lion flew off.

 

"Mission successful?" Hunk asked through the comms.

 

"Yes and no," Lance replied, glancing at Keith. "We got the intel but Keith’s going through one of his episodes again."

 

"Pidge? Can you inspect the data at all?" Shiro questioned.

 

Pidge opened up her data screen with an affirmative nod, "Already on it."

 

"Hunk? Can you get this lion to go any faster?" Shiro questioned into the comms.

 

"Way ahead of you," he replied.

 

The trip to the castle was significantly fast. Shiro tried to calm Keith’s whimpering while Lance and Pidge tried to go over the intel. Every few seconds Lance would ask about Keith just to make sure. Pidge got a confused furrow in her brow after a few dobashes of reading the intel but didn’t voice her findings. The yellow lion landed and Shiro hurried out of the lion toward the med-bay. Lance followed closely behind them.

 

After going through the usual procedure of cryo-suit, preparing cryo-pod and getting Keith’s upright, Shiro sat in front of Keith’s pod. He watched the vitals on his pod wavering and looked up at Keith’s greying skin. He thought about the lions in the astral plane, their bonds with their paladins weakening so much they turned dull.

 

He thought about Keith’s voice a few movements back. How it sounded like a different person, but still exactly like Keith. He rubbed his palm over his face in frustration before he got off the floor. He decided to go to the training deck and get his mind off a few things.

 

As he made his way to the door, he heard hurried footsteps and hurried speaking. A moment later the doors flung open. Pidge had a cylindrical device in her hands, a white bar mimicking Keith’s stats. Coran was behind her staring at the green paladin in confusion. Allura and Lance looked just as quizzical. Hunk was a little pale in the face.

 

"Check his quintessence levels! NOW!" She screamed, turning her attention on Coran. She pointed angrily at the pod that Keith rested in. "No questions! Go!"

 

Coran hurried toward the pod and started typing on the blue glass, going through different folders of his stats. Everyone questioned Pidge, trying to get an answer from her.

 

"Everyone! Quiet down," Shiro commanded. Everyone silenced, stepping away from Pidge. Shiro approached her and rested his hand on her shoulder. "Pidge, what’s going on?"

 

She looked up to answer but froze. Her skin turned pale and she stumbled back in surprise. Everyone behind her had the same bewildered expression. Shiro turned around toward Coran and looked over to the data screen floating next to him.

 

"The galra were restocking on quintessence incredibly fast," Pidge finally answered. "They mentioned a few things about ‘The Witch’ and magic… and the red paladin. I just had to make sure..." Shiro stepped forward and stared at Keith. He seemed peaceful, this couldn’t have been happening. This couldn’t… "I guess - now we know."

 

Keith’s quintessence was drained by an alarming rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it! Blackashi! Take note, Zarkon crashed their bonding party and the 'Space Mall' fight scene happened but I was too lazy to write the entire fight scene. Besides, it's right there in Season 2 so there is no need to put the battle in writing. (Unless I want to that is)
> 
> Anyway! Kudos if the fanfic deserved it and comment whatcha think about it! Okay, bye.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The last chapter. What will happen?

**9 MONTHS AGO**

 

He took off down the hall after the sentry.

 

He had an important piece of intel in hand, twisting through the hallways. Keith could hear Shiro call his name, but he ignored his warnings. Bayard in hand and shield up, he followed the sentry down the hall.

 

He tried to stab him with his sword and catch up to his speed but the mechanical warrior was always one step ahead of him. The exhaustion of the last few days clung to his shoulders and made him lose momentum. He tripped over his own feet and almost ran into any wall near him.

 

_ Come on! Just a little bit faster. _ If that Intel were to get into the galra's hands, they were screwed.

 

With a final swing of his sword, he cut through the sentry's neck. The soldier dropped the device in his hand and fell limply to the floor. Keith breathed heavily, leaning down and picking up the circular device. It seemed no harm was done to the object. He took a deep breath and pocketed the gear.

 

It was best he got back to the others and make sure they got the valued information. This might finally be their answer to why -

 

" **_ARGH!!_ ** " Keith screamed in pain as the sensation of scalding water ran through his veins. He fell to his knees in agony and clutched at his right arm, the blinding stabs resonating from there. He shook violently, his vision blurring around the edges.

 

Keith searched his surroundings, desperately trying to find the source of the pain. His eyes fell upon a shadowy figure in the far corner. Her voice was muffled, but she was saying something into a device. Her gleaming yellow eyes locked with his and a gruelly smile crossed her face. Not long after, he heard the march of soldiers growing louder and louder.

 

He took hold of the wall and pushed himself to his feet. His throat was scratchy and he felt dry. Black spots flickered in front of his view and the only emotion he had was fear. Keith coughed from the dry sensation of his throat and moaned in pain. His lungs burned in protest of his breathing.

 

He slumped back to the floor, feeling weak. Almost... vulnerable.

 

A group of sentries rounded the corner and upon sight, aimed and fired. Keith brought up his shield in time. The shots knocked him against the wall and Keith screamed. It felt as if his spine snapped. In his dizzy haze, he thought it did.

 

Reality was slowly slipping from his reach. It was like holding water at this point. The cyborgs got closer and closer, their insignias and guns melded together, growing bigger by the second. Keith felt tears sting at his eyes and with one final stretch of reality -

 

He screamed.

 

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

 

Shiro shot up in bed.

 

The scream ripped through the hallways and bounced off the walls. He could already hear the hurried footsteps of the others outside his door. He threw the blankets off himself and nearly ran into the door in his haste. His feet led him to Keith's bedroom where he could still hear the muffled crying of the red paladin.

 

Without hesitation, Shiro opened the door and headed for the bed. Keith was curled up in himself, shaking and sobbing. He kneeled next to him and lightly tapped his arm. Keith jumped, looking up at him with wide eyes. To Shiro's relief, they were normal.

 

Keith took a while to register Shiro's face before he lunged forth and hugged him.

 

"It's okay, Keith," Shiro mumbled into his hair. "It's over. It's okay."

* * *

**8 MONTHS AGO**

 

_ "Commencing Gladiator; Level 13," _ Allura called over the comms. The ceiling opened up and a gladiator fell to the ground with a resounding clang. Keith raised his sword in case the gladiator decided to dive forward. He saw the others do the same in the corner of his eye. The gladiator stood straight-backed and looked them all over.  _ "Your lesson today involves teamwork and strategy. You must work together to get passed the gladiator. On the other side of the room-" _ a panel rose from the across the room. A line cut between them and the gladiator -  _ "there is important intel. Get the intel to your side of the room, and the mission is successful. _

 

_ "You have thirty ticks to prepare yourselves," _ Allura said before she signed off. Keith huffed. No matter what he tried he could never get past this one. He's seen Shiro defeat this level countless times before but he was never able to crack the strategy himself.

 

"Alright, team! Let's talk strategy," Shiro turned toward them, drawing Keith's attention immediately. "This gladiator has a double eye. He can tell what is happening from both sides. So what we have to do, is outsmart him. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge will take his left side; while Keith and I take his right." Well, that was a little embarrassing, to say the least. He could've at least noticed the gladiator had the infused peripherals of a human being. The four of them nodded affirmatively. "Pidge, you are gonna have to slink away from the team slowly but surely. Grab the intel and rejoin the battle."

 

"Gotcha," Pidge said with a smirk.

 

"If the gladiator figures you out, we'll cover you," Shiro said. "But let's just hope this works out."

 

They turned back to the waiting gladiator. They walked to the line crossing between them and stood ready. Hunk, Lance, and Pidge to the left of the gladiator while Keith stood to the right with Shiro.

 

_ "Initiate mission!" _ Coran called over the comms cheerily.

 

The five of them darted forward, splitting into their respective sides. Keith and Shiro tried to cause more of a distraction on the right to give Pidge her time to sneak past.

 

Keith used his sword to the best of his ability. Striking when seems necessary and repelling the staff from hitting him. Shiro used more calculative techniques, watching the gladiator's actions with a watchful eye. Keith felt strangely dizzy at the sight. His blood growing hotter as if he was getting a panic attack. Pidge finally swiped the intel and slinked back to the group.

 

Shiro's plan seemed to be strategizing well. But Keith struggled to stay a part of it. His head spun as quick as a top and his vision went fuzzy and cleared too quickly for his mind to bear. He tried to ignore it but all his body wanted to do was rest.

 

Stay in the battle! He warned himself. But the dizzying exhaustion became roaring pain. His mind struggled to function. All of his thoughts got scrambled or sounded backward. A scream of white noise bubbled in his head and he knocked to his knees. He was begging. Pleading for noise other than this!

 

**_Please! AnYThING bUT ThIS!!_ **

 

Keith screamed. Trying to drown out the noise. His eyes stung and his head pounded. He heard a distant voice scream in the distance and felt shadows crowd his figure. Something heavy rested on his shoulder and Keith's screaming drowned out into a whimper.

* * *

**5 MONTHS AGO**

 

When Keith got back into battle again, he couldn't focus. His aim was off, he kept crashing and he struggled to obey orders. Keith has always had pride in his piloting skills but now he felt ashamed and embarrassed. It felt as if he never flew a ship in his life. It felt as if he never even made it into flying school.

 

He crashed into anything in his way because he couldn't maneuver fast enough, despite Red being the fastest on the team. He could never shoot a gun but he was at least decent with his lion. Keith has shot Green in the spine nine times now. Pidge would almost certainly need a cryo-pod if he hit her in the face with his fire again.

 

His breathing escalated into hyperventilating. He was doing things wrong, the team was frustrated with him! Why couldn't he remember how to connect with Red?

 

Lance screamed in surprise and dodged Keith's horrible aim at a fighter ship. "Focus, Keith!" Lance screamed angrily. He could practically see Lance fuming on the other side of the comms.

 

He was going to retort but he couldn't think. His mind went blank and he zoned out for a while. He shook his head and took a look at his surroundings. He... forgot that they were in a battle. "I..." Keith faltered, his voice was slightly shaky from stress. "I can't."

* * *

**3 MONTHS AGO**

 

When he got out of the cryo-pod, he fell into Pidge who was trying her best to keep him steady. "Whoa there, dude," she lightly scolded. "Lay off the cryo air, would ya?"

 

She was trying to brighten the mood. Get his mind off the fact that he messed up again. He shook his head. "S-sorry," he stammered out, stumbling back to use the pod as support.

 

Pidge pouted at him, clearly dissatisfied with her failure. She lightly punched his shoulder with a soft smile, "Hey, if it makes you feel any better - we might have a lead on what happened to you."

 

His eyes sprung wide and he stood tall with enthusiasm. "Really? What is it? How do you know? Do you know how to stop it? Can you stop it?" The questions left his mouth within seconds, pleading for answers to all of them.

 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Pidge held her hands up to calm him. "We don't have all the answers yet and we're still trying to figure it out. Besides, we first need the word from Shiro. See if he wants you to know anything yet." Keith slumped in defeat immediately after that, looking off to the side so he didn't need to face the green paladin. "Take a rest and get dressed, k? Maybe we'll have your answers when you wake up."

 

Keith nodded silently and left before she said anything else.

-  


Keith needed four vargas alone after the meeting with the other paladins.

 

He felt narcissistic looking into a mirror for a half-hour, mulling over everything he saw. He was in slight denial that his quintessence was being used for experiments in a ship galaxies away from them. It seemed impossible. They weren't completely sure yet, but this was their biggest bet of what happened that day.

 

The hooded figure's piercing yellow eyes still stuck in his mind. Her smirk tearing across her face as the pain in his limbs increased. His skin always seemed grey, ever since the incident.

 

He felt more and more worthless as the days went by. He kept it all to himself though.

 

Red wasn't as fast as she used to be. Maybe they were extracting her quintessence through him? He set the mirror aside and laid his face in his hands. He wouldn't be able to bear that weight on his shoulders. He never wanted anything to happen to her.

 

There was a soft knock at his door and Keith slowly straightened himself. "Come in," he mumbled, unsure if the person even heard him.

 

Shiro came inside, his soft concerned looks making Keith feel even worse.

 

"Hey, buddy," Shiro said quietly, taking a seat next to him on the bed. Keith avoided his gaze, staring down at his greying skin. "You feelin' okay?"

 

It's not like a space witch is slowly draining the life out of me, Keith thought to himself. "I'm fine."

 

Silence came between them. The only sound was the distant engines in the castle walls. After a few more dobashes of silence, Shiro sighed and spoke up. "Look. I know this is... scary to think of and you don't want this happening to you. No one would want this to happen as far as I can think. But we're gonna find a way to resolve this, just as we always do. And everything's gonna be fine."

 

"We shouldn't push the mission aside just cause I'm too weak to pilot a lion," Keith tried to protest but Shiro silenced him easily.

 

"You are part of this mission just as everyone else on this team," Shiro spoke in a voice filled with authority. The tone Keith struggled to ever disobey. "We need to put an end to this war but we also need to have faith in each other. This is just like all the other hardships, there are just a few more twists and turns to it. We are gonna figure this out and resolve it. You are not weak, the corruption is just making you think that way." Shiro's voice softened into a more brotherly tone. "You mean just as much as everyone to this cause. We need you and you need us. Understood?"

 

Keith stayed silent for a while. Head turned away, firmly avoiding Shiro's gaze. He knew Shiro was right, but he didn't want to feel like a burden. He didn't want to be in the way.

 

"Yes, sir."

* * *

**2 MONTHS AGO**

 

In all honesty, Keith wasn't too hyped to be under the force of magic again. Especially by someone who had little experience. But if this was his way out of this stupid quintessence loss curse, he was all in. Suffice to say, Allura was offended by his hesitance but didn't say anything about it.

 

Keith was pretty sure he would die in this room. Or come out with a second head. Then there would be more problems to settle.

 

Coran and Ryner assured him it would be alright but Lance's tales of the shrieking plant still haunted his mind.

 

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Keith questioned for the fifth time that day.

 

Allura lowered her hands with a pout, "Of course."

 

Keith crossed his arms, "Then why are we in the training deck for this? With Coran readying a healing pod? And Shiro monitoring from the box?" He gestured toward the room gazing over them, where Shiro's silhouette stood.

 

Allura paled slightly, "You weren't supposed to hear that..."

 

Keith sighed in frustration, "Yeah, that's reassuring."

 

Allura took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "We've been working on this for a while and this is our only solution. The healing pod is in the case that it doesn't work and Shiro's here to make sure it goes fine. This is our only option right now."

 

Keith raised an eyebrow at her, watching her skeptically. He finally caved after a while's staring contest. "Fine. Let's try it, I guess."

 

Allura held her hands ready and Keith took a deep breath before standing at her mercy. She closed her eyes in concentration and threw her hands out. Light blue sparks jumped from the tips of her fingers and Keith flinched as it connected to his chest.

 

A hard tug came in the back of his mind, making him hiss in pain. His thoughts jumbled and his blood started heating up. The start of white noise echoed in his skull, growing louder and louder. He clenched his teeth, trying to ignore the noise. It became unbearable, the noise hissed in his ears and his skin turned hot.

 

The last thing he heard was the echoing scream bouncing off the walls of the training deck.

* * *

**1 MONTH AGO**

 

After last time's incident, Keith tried his best to find a different solution. But Allura finally came back to him with a bit more experience and Keith made his dreaded trip to the training deck. He wished it would go fine this time.

 

This time, the entire team and Ryner stood in the box with Shiro. That was really reassuring. While walking past the med-bay, he noticed Coran readying a pod again. Keith didn't want last time's events coming back to him.

 

Keith - once again - stood before her and relaxed. It'll be fine, he told himself. It'll be fine.

 

Unlike last time, gold sparks jumped from the tips of her fingers and shot into his stomach instead. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. His stomach swirled with nausea and his entire head felt heavy. Keith's body immediately rebelled and he threw up on the floor.

-

After six fails, Keith laid face down on the floor with a tired, "No more."

 

"This is the last try, I promise you," Allura said. "And this one is guaranteed to work."

 

Keith miserably turned on his back and glared at her, "That's what you said of the last four."

 

Allura held out her hand and Keith grudgingly accepted it. She pulled him to his feet and Keith stood ready again. One last try, one last attempt to get rid of this stupid curse. Allura closed her eyes and Keith decided to follow her example.

 

A burst of electricity entered his body and a yellow line shot before his eyes; a different purple line curved off the edge into a dark plain. Keith jumped in surprise and Allura retreated from the alchemy spell. "Oh quiznack, are you alright!?" Allura cried in alarm.

 

"I - I'm fine," Keith mumbled. "Just didn't expect that."

 

"Should we..." Allura looked unsure of her question but proceeded. "Should we try again?"

 

Keith mulled it over for a second and nodded. "Y-yeah."

 

Allura returned to her position and closed her eyes. Keith was a bit hesitant, but he decided to follow her act. The shock of electricity entered his body again and the line became more prominent. Yellow and blue twisted together, a purple lining leading off into the distance. A hot pink line lead from somewhere else.

 

He had no clue what all these symbols meant but he knew that it hurt like hell. He clenched his teeth and tried not to jerk away.

 

Blinding pain shot throughout his entire body and the lines disappeared.

-

When Keith fell out of the pod, Allura was there to catch him. She also didn't stop hugging him. "A-Allura?" Keith said in confusion as she squeezed out whatever quintessence he had left.

 

"I'm so sorry I had to hurt you like that!" She cried into his shoulder. "But it's over now I promise."

 

"Wha...?" Keith faltered. The blinding pain of before came to the forefront of his mind. The lines of yellow, blue, purple and pink. "I-it's over?"

 

Allura pulled away with a kind smile. "Yes. We did a few tests while you were in the cryo-pod and I used some of the alchemy as well. There's no link to Haggar anymore."

 

Keith's limbs failed him immediately. Relief flooded his system and as he fell forward. Allura caught him in another hug. No more pain. No more pain! He didn't need to go through that depressing cycle ever again. "Thank you, Allura." Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

The pain was finally over.

* * *

The cockpit was empty and the Bayard left in the lion.

 

"Shiro?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! That's it. Hope you enjoyed Can't Rid the Pain. Feel free to go take a look at the other fanfictions I wrote. There are a few one-shots and a series I am currently working on! Thanks for sticking around guys.

**Author's Note:**

> That's that for now. Make sure to leave a Kudos if I hurt your feels (or not, completely understandable) and comment your thoughts! This was supposed to be a very long one-shot but I decided I should probably just break it into two parts.


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